The Way to Domestic Disengagement
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I have never experienced the world as sluggish and unmotivated as it feels right now. (I am quoting myself here.)
Interestingly, just last week I read an article titled "The Dark Side of Home", which I find very fitting in this context. It was somewhat more abstract, but the core idea is similar.
As in this related paper:
Meagher et al. (2024), Journal of Environmental Psychology – Predicting home attachment through its psychological costs and benefits
Aside from the fact that I find this topic psychologically quite charged, I still consider it particularly important. I have personally noticed that my own decorating behavior is strongly conditioned, not in the sense of childhood, but rather through experiences and personality.
Over the past months, I have been deeply engaged with personality development and personality types to better understand how today's society actually functions. In doing so, I have encountered many, let's say, "bizarre" things, including the existence of personality types that display strange habits such as "revenge in everyday life" through trivial actions, which is often seen in narcissists. Just to give one example so you understand what I mean.
Domestic Disengagement: but why is this happening?
Now we come to the main opinion section I have been waiting to write for sooo long. Over the past years, I have reflected a lot and, above all, observed carefully. What I have noticed personally is the adaptive behavior of many people in relation to interior design. It is demonstrably known that people experience a shift in this area when:
- they are poorly conditioned (for various reasons in their past)
- future anxieties become loud and noticeable (media, political tensions)
- negative developments increase (wars, pandemics, crises)
- they have experienced narcissistic abuse (by partners, friends or family)
- they are already suffering from depression or similar conditions, in advanced stages
A few years ago, I would never have thought that these factors would have such a significant impact on how we design our living spaces but they clearly do. People who are very fixated on order are usually either very conservative or trying to create space for a new beginning. Moving does not have to be chaotic if, like the more organized among us, it is planned well in advance.
The downside, however, is when we are not talking about order or moving but about complete emptiness and monotony. As listed above, this has several causes. I see three main categories:
- Listlessness: They simply have no desire, especially due to the causes described above, and also see no value in it.
- Anhedonia (more psychologically relevant).
- "Unskilled" individuals: People who have no interest in it or no sense of aesthetic taste.
The first two categories concern me. Externalized loss of drive, in my view, is a negative example. I often say: Discomfort aligns with social predictability. That means: if I know someone is intentionally trying to interfere with my interior design, I set boundaries when it becomes too much. I see a problem here. Many people say nothing out of "love, pity or loyalty," but especially in new relationships I see this as a major red flag. 🚩 Whether at work or at home, anyone trying to impose their will in a space that belongs to someone else is crossing a personal boundary.
Opinions differ here, but one thing is clear: those who do not clearly communicate their boundaries—as in such cases—become more easily victims of toxic people. (At least that has been my experience, which is why I now formulate my boundaries more clearly.)
So my conclusion is: interior design, whether at the workplace, whether it is a framed diploma on the wall or the television in the left corner of the room—everything is the way it is for a reason, whether through indifference, personal preference, or sentimental value. I believe every aspect of personality that is reflected in one's living space deserves legitimacy. For me, this is a matter of respect: If you respect your colleagues, your partner or others, you do not do things like that.
And you?